Done, Done, DONE!! Grrr..

frustrated bear

I am SO DONE with one sided relationships!!! I have a lot of “friends”. I have the ones who look over the edge of the hole I may be in and ask me how I got there in the first place (judgmental “friends”). I have the ones who hand me a ladder and tell me to get out of the hole (sympathetic “friends”)… then I have the ones who will get in the hole with me, freak out and blame me for being in the hole (drama “friends”)! Then we are BOTH there and miserable together.. ugh!

drama choice

Then there are the ones who will climb into the hole with me, hold my hand, tell me it’s going to be OK and support me while I find my way out of the hole. They aren’t really IN the hole, they are just empathetic to my circumstances and will love me no matter where I am. They don’t bail the first time they see that I am in trouble. They don’t run away or get disillusioned when they see me in a valley and avoid me until I am in a better place. These friends are very few and far between and my circle is extremely small. They are also the ones you can call on to help you move a body. (follow link) I know who I can count on during these times and I also forgive those who cannot be that person.  They are dealing with their own valleys and need those of us who can love them where they are.  The ironic part about me is that I am that person for so many because that is the type of friend I am and I do not mind helping others. But is it too much to ask to have others do that for me? Am I being selfish by wanting people to be there for me?

one seesaw

Over the years, I have given and given and done and done and DONE! So I guess I have inadvertently created this illusion that I don’t need anyone. Is that what I have done?? I am tired… I am tired of being the only one who gives to some who only take. They make little or no effort. Weeks will go by with no word.. until I am the one who reaches out. I am the one who travels to see them with no reciprocation. I have made the effort to be there for specific occasions any time I am needed with no one to return the same effort. Now, I do have the freedom to do this when others do not and I appreciate that so again, that is easier to forgive. But after almost 8 years, I am done expecting anyone to change this behavior.

crossing oceans

Life has its ups and downs, valleys and mountains, highs and lows… etc. There is no way to avoid some things that happen to you and around you. Even if you are just sitting at home watching TV minding your own business, a sink hole can open up below you and swallow your house. But when we go through the trials of life, it is then when we find out who truly cares about us. The ones who pick up the phone and CALL you to see how you are doing or at least send a text and check on you; they are the ones who you can say “Those are my people” because they know you would do the same and HAVE done the same for them. It is nice to know someone is praying for you and sending you good thoughts and energy. This is how you get through the lows, valleys and downs in life. That is why it is important to make friends but you can’t stop there! You have to cultivate that friendship. You have to pay attention and feed it just like any relationship! It is not one-sided! It takes effort on both sides…. Those same friends are the ones who are there to share all of the joys and celebrations too.

One of the things I have had to come to terms with is “out of sight, out of mind”. People do not mean to forget you, but they do because you are not there. They go on with their lives and make new friends and you make new friends and there is no malice involved. It is just the way of the world. I also appreciate that my mindfulness of friendships is a foreign concept to most. Everyone gets so busy with their lives that time passes and suddenly it is years later and you haven’t seen or heard from someone in months. No one is mad at anyone else, it just happens. The hard part is not getting your feelings hurt when someone moves away or you are the one who left and no one stays in touch. So the solution? Just make new friends where you are, put forth the effort to the ones who are close by now and understand that everyone goes on with their lives and cherish the time you have together because for everything there is a season. The ones from the past are missing out on someone who was their friend all along… 




Do You Know This Player?


My name is Pride, I am a cheater.

I cheat you of your God-given destiny…

because you demand your own way.

I cheat you of contentment…

because you “deserve better than this.”

I cheat you of knowledge…because you already know it all!

I cheat you of healing…

because you’re too full of me to forgive.

I cheat you of holiness…

because you refuse to admit when you are wrong.

I cheat you of vision…

because you would rather look in the mirror than out a window.

I cheat you of friendship…

because you would rather look in the mirror than out the window.

I cheat you of genuine friendship…

because no one is going to get to know the real you.

I cheat you of love… because real romance demands sacrifice.

I cheat you of greatness in heaven…

because you refuse to wash another’s feet on earth.

I cheat you of God’s glory…

because I convince you to seek your own.

My name is Pride! I am a cheater!

You like me because you always think I am looking out for you.

UNTRUE! I’m looking to make a fool of you!

God has so much for you… but don’t worry… because if you stick with me?

You will never know!


Tammi Kale

Playing Catch up…..

It always seems I am trying to “catch up” as I have a tendency to get behind and rearrange my priorities in the way that works at that moment. For the most part I get important things done. I pay my bills, do the laundry, my homework, straighten the house, cook supper and try to keep hubby happy. And THEN I allow myself time to write. I know I should make it a higher priority because I sometimes see it as self-indulgent. Let me clear….I see it that way FOR ME!! I admire others who make it a part of their daily lives and I get to read their brilliant magical yarns of words. Or see the beautiful works of art in the form of photographs or drawings. Thank you!

I appreciate the people I have gotten to know in the blogging community and the support has been wonderful and overwhelming. When I started writing my blog last summer it was kind of on a whim. I thought it would help me to be somewhat accountable to others who “follow” me. I had no idea I would be blessed with such support from you guys! It is so cool to converse with folks as far away as Australia and then as close as my home town. My recent Sunshine Blogging Award was very special to me, but then I had to narrow it down to 11 people? Hmmm….that was hard because there are so many others I wanted to include.

Writing challenges are inspirational and has brought an interesting creative side forth that kind of surprised me. I had written some poetry in high school and taken a creative writing class in college where we wrote poetry, but I had put it away like my other writing. Several times I have started writing a story and it has turned into a poem. I have journaled some over the years and written several short stories. But, because I am a bit of a perfectionist with my writing, I don’t post. It is one of the reasons you guys don’t see what I write very often. I like to keep things entertaining and fun, but I am my own worst critic.
Sunday Photo Fictiontrifecta
Friday Fictioners button

Never in a million years did I think I could have published authors, photographers and well established bloggers follow me? Really?

So thank you (again) plus some and those I haven’t mentioned!!

Melinda Roth aka Anyone seen my bleeping horse
Amy Reese Writes
Dana Contance Thomas
Idiot Writing
Dianna College Mom
Heylookawriterfollow Mike Allegra
Miss Four Eyes
Writer B is Me
Kim silentlyheardonce
Jules in Flashy Fiction

You guys are so special and make my day each and every time I get a comment or a “Like” posted to something I wrote. It means so very much to me!!
clapping hands

Now what was I saying………
OH YEAH! I promise to write more often and make it a higher priority!! 🙂