It Just Takes the Right Touch! 

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“Of course it doesn’t work!” Taylor growled to herself! Stupid antique is probably there as a joke. Her dead mobile was in her pocket and she was going to be late… AGAIN!

“Need to make a call?” the black leather jacket squeaked as he stuck his thumbs in his front pockets.

“Yeah, but it doesn’t work.”

“Sure it does!” He lightly rapped the top of the phone then picked up the handset. “Here ya go!”

She heard the dial tone as she put the receiver to her ear. Surprised, she turned around to say “THAN..” but no one was there.

This is my entry for Friday Fictioneers for July 27, 2017 hosted by our lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. It is a wonderful challenge. Please follow the link below to give it a try!! 🙂

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How did they find me?

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PHOTO PROMPT © Rochelle Wisoff-Fields

As I strolled along the ancient paths through the city, I could see the imprints in the stones of those who walked before me. The vines climbed the walls and the shutters banged hard against the walls from the wind. This town was founded in 1268 under the rule of Alfons von Kastilien of the House of Burgundy who would come to see his mistress in the dead of night and lay with her.

The court will convene tomorrow to finalize my lineage so I can take the throne on my 21st birthday. I still wonder how they tracked me down.

This is my entry for Friday Fictioneers for June 28, 2017 hosted by our lovely Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. It is a wonderful challenge. Please follow the link below to give it a try!! 🙂 

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Done, Done, DONE!! Grrr..

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I am SO DONE with one sided relationships!!! I have a lot of “friends”. I have the ones who look over the edge of the hole I may be in and ask me how I got there in the first place (judgmental “friends”). I have the ones who hand me a ladder and tell me to get out of the hole (sympathetic “friends”)… then I have the ones who will get in the hole with me, freak out and blame me for being in the hole (drama “friends”)! Then we are BOTH there and miserable together.. ugh!

drama choice

Then there are the ones who will climb into the hole with me, hold my hand, tell me it’s going to be OK and support me while I find my way out of the hole. They aren’t really IN the hole, they are just empathetic to my circumstances and will love me no matter where I am. They don’t bail the first time they see that I am in trouble. They don’t run away or get disillusioned when they see me in a valley and avoid me until I am in a better place. These friends are very few and far between and my circle is extremely small. They are also the ones you can call on to help you move a body. (follow link) I know who I can count on during these times and I also forgive those who cannot be that person.  They are dealing with their own valleys and need those of us who can love them where they are.  The ironic part about me is that I am that person for so many because that is the type of friend I am and I do not mind helping others. But is it too much to ask to have others do that for me? Am I being selfish by wanting people to be there for me?

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Over the years, I have given and given and done and done and DONE! So I guess I have inadvertently created this illusion that I don’t need anyone. Is that what I have done?? I am tired… I am tired of being the only one who gives to some who only take. They make little or no effort. Weeks will go by with no word.. until I am the one who reaches out. I am the one who travels to see them with no reciprocation. I have made the effort to be there for specific occasions any time I am needed with no one to return the same effort. Now, I do have the freedom to do this when others do not and I appreciate that so again, that is easier to forgive. But after almost 8 years, I am done expecting anyone to change this behavior.

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Life has its ups and downs, valleys and mountains, highs and lows… etc. There is no way to avoid some things that happen to you and around you. Even if you are just sitting at home watching TV minding your own business, a sink hole can open up below you and swallow your house. But when we go through the trials of life, it is then when we find out who truly cares about us. The ones who pick up the phone and CALL you to see how you are doing or at least send a text and check on you; they are the ones who you can say “Those are my people” because they know you would do the same and HAVE done the same for them. It is nice to know someone is praying for you and sending you good thoughts and energy. This is how you get through the lows, valleys and downs in life. That is why it is important to make friends but you can’t stop there! You have to cultivate that friendship. You have to pay attention and feed it just like any relationship! It is not one-sided! It takes effort on both sides…. Those same friends are the ones who are there to share all of the joys and celebrations too.

One of the things I have had to come to terms with is “out of sight, out of mind”. People do not mean to forget you, but they do because you are not there. They go on with their lives and make new friends and you make new friends and there is no malice involved. It is just the way of the world. I also appreciate that my mindfulness of friendships is a foreign concept to most. Everyone gets so busy with their lives that time passes and suddenly it is years later and you haven’t seen or heard from someone in months. No one is mad at anyone else, it just happens. The hard part is not getting your feelings hurt when someone moves away or you are the one who left and no one stays in touch. So the solution? Just make new friends where you are, put forth the effort to the ones who are close by now and understand that everyone goes on with their lives and cherish the time you have together because for everything there is a season. The ones from the past are missing out on someone who was their friend all along… 

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Pop Goes the Weasel!

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Soo.. a fellow blogger issued a challenge to me. Thanks Eli! I could come up with all kinds of excuses why I haven’t written anything as of late, but they would be lame and unoriginal.

The truth is I am not really sure why I haven’t written lately. Before graduation I had school to use as an excuse and that was legit. Between papers, books and projects, it really lent very little time to the indulgence of writing for “me” which is how I see blogging. Don’t get me wrong, I write! I just don’t post… I wrote book reviews, political analysis and political reflections for my classes which I really enjoyed. I wrote essays and projects on Presidential assassinations which I also loved doing but I also started a piece on boxes. Hmmm… why would you write about boxes you ask? Well, it is something that has been floating around in my head for a few days, months… ok years! And I finally got around to putting it down on paper. It is my go to analogy.

Once upon a time there was a book written by Bill and Pam Farrel called Men are like Waffles-Women are like Spaghetti. In it, they describe the psyche of men and women perfectly (in my opinion). Basically they say men are like waffles because they can compartmentalize every aspect of their life….job, family, parents, kids, football, yardwork… etc you get the idea. No matter what compartment they are operating in, they can keep it (and the emotions) separate from all of the other compartments and the twain shall never meet! But that isn’t the way women are wired. We are like spaghetti because we are all over the plate and EVERYTHING is connected! Ahhhh!

Personally I happen to think we are all a little bit of both. I have known some women who are champions at sectioning off parts of themselves from other things and people. I do that to some degree. However, I have also known men who are like spaghetti and all over the place! Drives me nuts! I think the best way for all of us to operate is to not only understand how the other sex is wired, but also try to be more like both, waffles and spaghetti. Women should learn to put things into boxes while knowing everything we do, see, feel and touch is connected to us. MEN.. You guys need to understand how we think! We don’t usually put things in boxes and separate them from the other stuff. To us when you forget to call on your way home, to say you will be late, that it tells us you do not care how it has affected A LOT of things and has caused a domino effect you are totally oblivious to. So when you walk in the door and we are angry at you, it is about MUCH more than simply forgetting to call even if it was totally innocent and had never happened before. If we yell at you on the phone about being late, we probably don’t truly care so much that you are late; we see that as a symbol of not caring for our feelings. The real problem lies in the fact that WE have no clue that is why we are yelling at you so how can we possibly get YOU to understand why we are yelling at you. All you know is someone is yelling so you are going to yell back! Sound familiar???

Bottom line! I am doing some research and working on expanding my box analogy to help people figure out what their boxes are and how to utilize them the best way. In other words….? Learn from what I have figured out on how to deal with life and not have the stupid clown jumping out of your box unannounced and slapping us because we forgot we stuffed the damn thing down and tried to pretend it wasn’t there. Pop goes the weasel! :-/

My new Love……

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Not much gives me more pleasure than finding a new artist and new tunes to fall in love with. This incredible young musician, Barnaby George “Barns” Courtney is an English singer, songwriter and musician. He was born in Ipswich, England and settled with his family in Seattle, WA at the age of 4.
In 2015, Courtney released his first track as a solo artist, “Glitter & Gold”, which received radio play on BBC Introducing Suffolk and by BBC Radio 1’s Phil Taggert, and led to an appearance at Radio 1’s Big Weekend in Exeter the following year. “Glitter & Gold” also reached #1 on the UK Spotify Viral Chart, and #2 on the iTunes Alternative Chart.
His music reminds me of OneRepublic with wonderful lyrics and a hard cadence with a voice that tingles my ears. I fell in love with “Glitter & Gold” when it was featured during the closing credits of  the movie Burnt with Bradley Cooper and Sienna Miller. I don’t know if I would recommend the movie necessarily but Barns Courtney certainly made an impression on me and I looked him up to see what other songs I could glean. Here are 2 of my favs! 

The Bottle and the Rooftop

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The Bottle and The Rooftop

The red wine clung to the sides as she swirled it around in the beautiful tumbler and looked out over the city. White linen table cloths and napkins covered the chrome table that held one single candle. The sun was just starting to set on the horizon and the gold, red and violet hues reflected in the glass she held. Incredible smells wafted on the breeze and she could see the chef as he sautéed the spears of asparagus that would sit on the porcelain plate with the veal piccata. It was not her favorite meal, but she had ordered it and she would enjoy the flavors as they sat on her tongue to mingle with the dryness of the wine. The piccata and a good Pinot noir will always complement one another he had told her.

It had been the last one in her cellar and she removed it with care this morning and put in the wine carrier to bring with her. It was the very last bottle they had purchased together. He had laughed and teased her about purchasing a bottle simply because she liked the label, but it had turned out to be wonderful in spite of her naiveté. Charlotte’s eyes filled with tears as she silently toasted her late husband on what would have been their 40th anniversary.

The idea of Sunday Photo Fiction is to create a story / poem or something using around about 200 words with the photo as a guide. Our awesome host Al Forbes-Mixed Bag has one of these every week. If you would like to give it a go, please click on icon below and have fun!

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Weddings and Funerals…

It is amazing to me how these two events can bring out the best and the worst in people. We have had way too many funerals in recent years and there are several stories I could share about the assholes who were brought to the surface when these events took place. At the same time, people stepped up and helped one another and the acts of true friendship and family could be found during the hard times. However, some relationships were completely severed and may never be healed as a result.

 
Emotions run high and people will say and do things that you would never imagine…both good and bad. A kinder part of someone will emerge and we are surprised by the broken heart and can take mercy on that person when we see the real pain that has been pushed down for so long. On the other hand, you have those who are always sweet, reserved and you feel can be relied on… turn into the meanest, most belligerent, unkind folks to walk the earth. Some facades fall and other walls are built. It is unpredictable.

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Case in point: Our daughter is getting married next week and we are facing this challenge again. The ones whom we thought for sure would be supportive of this event and come are choosing to be hateful and uncaring of feelings. They will regret their decisions. My child is my mother’s first granddaughter and probably the only one she will live long enough to see get married. Her only other grandchildren are less than 2 years old which will put her somewhere in her 90’s when/if they walk down the aisle. She has chosen not to be at the nuptials in spite of my daughter calling to ask her to please be there. My mother was sent an invitation as well. She is welcome and we were all hoping this event could be a time of healing and joy for this family. I guess she hates me and my husband too much. She claims we have always been mean to her and for the life of me, I can’t figure out how or why she thinks this way. I know she has a skewed version of the truth of some situations but her memory is truly flawed. She has conveniently forgotten all of the things we have done for her over the years and tells everyone how mean we are. Well, those who know us and people who are close to us know the truth.

 
I am not going to list all of the things she has accused me of or why she believes I am the source of all her pain. It isn’t worth my time or abuse to my psyche to relive the hateful and horrible things she has said.

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My mother probably has a true mental problem. I feel sorry for her. But I have learned to stay away knowing her toxicity is not healthy for me or my family. I pray for her, I love her and I have never told my daughter not to see her or have a relationship especially since she is my daughter’s only living grandmother. I have warned her though. And unfortunately my mother has proven me right. I know my mother loves her, but she thinks she is punishing my daughter or the rest of us by not coming to the wedding. She is only punishing herself and I believe she will regret her decision. It only makes her look bad because when people ask…. And they will… we will tell them the truth. Everyone who knows my mother also knows her problems and they will be sad, but will understand. They will also feel sorry for her.

 
We are not going to allow it to ruin this joyous occasion but I am sad because I am afraid the next time I see my mother… it will be her funeral 😦

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