To Cry (write) or not to Cry(write)…

Calvin and Hobbs

Calvin and Hobbs


Writing is sometimes like crying. If there has been an event in your life where tears should be shed, sometimes I will hold on to them and not let them fall. It’s not that I don’t want anyone to see me cry because I do not have that great of a hold on my emotions. But if I am trying to be strong for someone else I will do my best not to fall apart in their presence. I will hold on to them until the “time is right” and then I will have my “cry” and be done with it. I do have a fear that if I ever do start crying I will not be able to make the tears stop. I will not be able to take the control back, and I will be seen as weak and unable to be the strength someone else may need.

The greatest laid plans and all that….you know? When the tears do come, it is never planned. Try as I might, I cannot turn them off and on like a faucet. I can’t turn my feelings off and on either. I think that is a good thing but can be a fine line. One should not let their emotions control their life. You have to throw SOME practical thinking in there as well. I am pretty good at taking care of business, THEN fall apart later. But for some reason, it never happens at a convenient time. Although I have dealt with the death of people close to me, I have never lost a child, husband, or best friend. I have lost a wonderful stepdad who will forever be a part of my thought process and two extraordinary grandparents and their deaths were hard. But that all consuming loss of someone who is part of your daily life and your soul? Not yet….. I will not even try to predict what that will be like for me. I pray it is a long LONG time before I know.

So, back to writing. I feel the same way about it. I have all this “stuff” bottled up inside and when I do sit down and write I have a small fear that comes into play. What if I start writing and I can’t stop?? I know that sounds irrational but I think I have some delusional part of my mind that says it is supposed to be organized, thoughtful, planned and a great story. That is not always the case as so many of you can testify. I guess my fear is writing gobbledygook that doesn’t make sense and is pure garbage. No one wants to read that! *sigh*

I used to love going into a bookstore. I could walk around in there for hours. I love the smell of the printed pages and the different ways book are bound. The beautiful covers and the colors used are amazing no matter what is inside. I always marvel at what authors and publishers choose to put on the outside. They are designed (most of the time) to entice the potential reader to pick THEIR book up to read based solely on what is on the cover. But as the saying goes…”You can’t always judge a book by its cover”! Now when I walk around in a bookstore I get intimidated. I think to myself, “Look at all these books. People have put so much time and effort into them and they are published. Someone actually buys these and reads what is in them. What in the world could I say that hasn’t been said before or would anyone want to read?”

I’m in a writing slump….obviously. I have been writing some, I just don’t have anything I am willing to share on here. I love to read the poetry and prose of my fellow bloggers. I know better than to think it all comes so easily for you guys. I’m not that naive. But it does seem easier for some of you than others. Thank you for sitting down and making the time to share with us your thoughts, beautiful quotes and photographs. They are a part of my morning and I so appreciate all of you!! And thank you for reading to the bottom…. I hope it was worth it. 🙂

10 thoughts on “To Cry (write) or not to Cry(write)…

  1. It was definitely worth reading . A great post and very beautifully written . You have just listed out the issues that goes inside every writers mind . I kinda get this same feeling too. you know , sitting down to write something , and having that prickly nervousness if I’m doing it right and what if I mess up . But then I tell myself , you are learning every single day , it’s ok if you mess you , just put up something that is worth reading .
    Definitely a great post . 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You sound like me. I have flood gates that open and the tears flow. I have notebooks full of writing I’ve done with tears. First my hand writing is illegible so it makes it difficult to read. On top of that my thoughts are totally incomplete. I think most of us writers find ourselves in this dark place because we feel so much.

    I’ve been in a writing slump too. The last few days I’ve been sharing poems I wrote while in this slump. What I do is go back and try to make sense out of my words. Reading other writers is a good way to become inspired. Hope you shake off the slump soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Gee man Courtney…
    I dunno hey – firstly – why can I relate to so much in here?
    From the death factor – to the holding back tears but not functioning soley on emotion – to the dread of a nearest and dearest loss – to writing and not being able to stop (and go to bed!) to it hitting at most inopportune times (like when I am supposed to go to bed!Both crying and writing – sigh 😉 )- to wondering ‘what have I got that has not already been said?’ – when I go around to blogs and read – words I can absolutely relate to, when I am tired out and drained and have no words left to give…someone else says it for me 😀
    Thank you for expressing what I feel so often.
    Secondly – you were saying you were in a slump? yeah?
    If this is a slump…
    😉
    Chill chick – spirals and cycles 😛 lol!

    Like

    • You are so awesome “sweetpea” 🙂
      Thank you for the kind words. I’m glad my post resonated with you. I just started writing and felt pretty good about it. Then I hurried up and hit publish before I had time to change my mind and tweak it! LOL! I have a really bad tendency to do that….
      I read beautiful words every day from fellow bloggers and I am so envious of they way you guys can just put words down and make them sound so awesome! Thanks for stopping by 😉

      Like

  4. It is different for everybody as to how they write and what they write. Some can turn it on and off like a tap. I saw an interview with a couple the other day and they are both authors. I say the other day, it may have been last month or it may have been last year. These two have a very different writing style. She will write when she has the urge to do so, when it comes to her. she has to sit down and write it there and then. He, on the other hand, wakes up at 6 and has a cup of coffee. Then goes for a run then a shower. After that, he sits and writes for two hours. Has a break for coffee and then sits and writes for another two hours. Breaks for lunch, Then sits and writes for three hours. Stops for a coffee and sits and writes for two to three hours. But his stories write themselves. Very much the same way mine do.

    As for writing what everyone else has written, even Star Wars is just a fairy tale. Beautiful Princess locked away and the young peasant goes to rescue her with the sage and loose cannon pilot with comic sidekicks. Then has to defeat the bad guys and save the day when nobody else could do it because he has this magical ability.

    I am writing a vampire story. That has been told so many different ways before, and yet still more come out. Aliens invade the planet has been done and done and done. It’s how you tell it that makes the difference. It’s how you perceive it and how you bring that across to the readers. It’s how you make the twists. How you make it your own unique style.

    Everyone has a dry spell. If it helps, try using a prompt. There are blogs with photos for prompts, others with sentences, words, music. Or even look around your room.

    I look around mine, “once there was a fierce blue dragon, and all of the villagers were afraid of it. Some of the villagers heard that a magical ball with pure tears inside it would hold the answer, but this was behind the caves with the skeletons and the tripod beings where the orchids grow.”

    The objects I saw were a dragon ornament, a glass paperweight with yellow ribbons inside it, an incense burner in the shape of a skeleton, and an orchid.

    So don’t worry. it will come back 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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