Resolutions, new beginnings, start over, try again……?

Today’s Observation :

It’s that time of year again kids! You know….Resolutions, new beginnings, start over, try again……? I don’t believe in resolutions personally. Mainly because they never seem to work out for me. Why not make positive changes to your life year round? Why wait until Jan 1?

I spent the better part of 2013 (and 2014) making good changes for myself. Most have worked out, some have not. I have added to and taken away from my list. I have learned not to make unrealistic goals but challenge myself to be better in some new way. I stay more focused and show more kindness but I have learned to use boundaries and I am way better at using the N O word. I read more and continue to challenge my brain and be as authentic as possible. The problem with my new changes is some of the people who were here in Jan 2013 (and 2014) are no longer a part of my life. That makes me sad in some ways but I have added more friends to my circle that fill in the gaps to some degree and have a much better perspective than the drama queens and kings who were there before.

I have learned things about myself that were hard to adjust to but overall gave me a greater understanding of why I do the things I do. I have learned to cut myself some slack. This was a huge challenge to say the least because I have always been so hard on myself, which in turn makes me hard on those around me. For this I greatly apologize…..

I am not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but I strive for improvement and relax in what I have accomplished without beating myself up for not getting one more thing done. It does help to have support from the ones around me who love me and care for me in spite of my flaws.

I still struggle with trust. This is a bit ironic because there are so many in my circle of influence who trust me. But I still keep some of my feelings and inner thoughts to myself. I feel like a fraud sometimes. My wonderful therapists over the years have chastised me for this. But it is a reality of mine. I feel like I have everyone fooled into thinking I am this awesome person but if they really knew the “real” me, they wouldn’t like me very much…much less think I was awesome! You have probably seen the sign that says “If they knew what I was thinking, I would be in a mental ward!” Truly! Aren’t you glad people can’t actually read your mind?? We all have impure thoughts and think about things we shouldn’t and laugh at things that are inappropriate. Thank goodness for grace……

What we feed our minds is important. Putting the best of the positive thoughts and influences in our minds will only give us the good things to dwell on. Thereby giving us positive things to say and be. You know the saying…Garbage in, garbage out! We are inundated with negativity in our everyday lives that cannot be helped. The news is a good example. I do not consciously watch the news anymore. If there is something important I need to know about, the information always finds me. If we put enough good and positive and Godly energy in our lives, thoughts and minds, it will eventually be a way of life and create positive energy to make us better people, parents and friends. We can do this by reading, watching good things on TV or by listening to music but I find surrounding myself with positive and Godly people along with those others things has the greatest influence on me.

So, instead of starting the new year with resolutions that will only be broken, try putting something positive in your life throughout the year and strive to make that an ongoing resolution to make yourself a better person 🙂
Brene' Brown

Brene' Brown<a

21 thoughts on “Resolutions, new beginnings, start over, try again……?

  1. This was absolutely perfect and confirms the notion that I think we are sisters from another life.
    From the Brene’ badges that also sit laminated in my journal to your words about feeling like a fraud. I strive for authenticity, but still seem to fall short on most days.
    Your words calm and soothe and give me hope. I’m so glad our paths crossed last year C (K!)
    xoxox Michelle

    Liked by 1 person

    • Aww.. thanks Michelle! I’m glad my post resonates with you. I had someone comment on it the other day and read it again from LAST Jan and thought “Hey..those words are still true!”
      I too, fall short on most days but those who know me well… KNOW me! I’m real and what you see is what you get! I cross paths with way too many people who are two faced (or have 5 or 6 faces) and I am pretty good at seeing through their facade most of the time. I NEVER want to be one of those people that others say, “I saw her the other day at such and such and she was totally different.” But I really have to work on my self-talk…it can be pretty bad sometimes. :-/

      Like

  2. I like it, Courtney. I agree about putting positive things in. My SIL recently pointed out to me that I very much absorb the emotions of people around me. I’d never realized it, but its so true, and I do it to my own detriment. I’m trying to be better about identifying the difference– like when I see a friend first thing in the morning and they’re ranting or upset, I can be supportive but I don’t have to take on that anger. Does that sound froofy? Well, I like it regardless haha. Happy 2015, what!

    Like

    • Exactly like you in that regard! No, it does not sound froofy! LOL! I am also very tuned in sometimes…. I have to guard against “taking on” others emotions, drama, pain…etc. But if it is someone I love and I am very close to it is harder for me, but I succeed most of the time, NOW! It can be so detrimental. You can be supportive and a sounding board for someone without absorbing the visceral element. What happens to me is my “momma bear” instincts kick in and I want to protect and defend that person against whoever is responsible for hurting them.
      I would also much rather be tuned in than oblivious. I have friends who are like zombies sometimes. I can be in a VERY negative environment and ask them “Don’t you feel that?” and they’re like “What?” Never mind…. *sigh* I have also learned to avoid that as much as I can and being able to sense something was wrong or about to happen has saved my ass more than once. But I love the fact I can experience something on so many levels! I so get why you have traveled and had so many cool adventures. I can see the lure and addiction to the adrenaline of not knowing what is around the next corner. On the other hand, I need to feel safe and secure too. A lot more so, now that I am in my 50s. Rock on girlfriend! You are a pleasure to read about…..I’m envious 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The first one of many, I will read.
    Have you been listening in on my conversation in my head? 🙂
    I am so grateful not to be in this alone and love that we are all having victories over the battles that are in our minds. Positive things are the best weapons for putting out the arrows, advancing and taking back what is already ours. Love ya

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Why are your ‘wonderful therapists over the years have chastised me for this’ doing this? That’s not nice or constructive. I sometimes this counsellors and therapists make things worse and for me, a lot of the counsellors I had in past years, did make it worse, sometimes it was too much to bear and I decided to stop the sessions, other times, I put up with it and felt bad. Now I look to myself for my own answers and thankfully have left the counselling in my past. I think I had enough of it to last a lifetime, but if I ever felt I needed it again, I would still consider it and hoped to get someone good. I know what it feels like to be trusted and not have trust in some others, although I don’t think there is anything wrong with this.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Therapy has been an incredible tool for me and has helped sort out reality from destructive “self-talk”. What they have chastised me for is my feeling like a fraud. The “self-talk” of “If people knew the REAL me, they would hate me” which is mostly untrue I know now. But I still hold back parts of myself and I do not let others in. That is my trust issue….
      Thanks for stopping by my dear. I have been neglecting my blog and friends because I am totally overwhelmed with life right now. Nothing bad, just busy… 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hi Courtney, I am glad you have had good experiences with therapists. I am glad to know that if people knew the real you – You now know they would like you. I guess I am an open book these t
        days. Too open for my own good sometimes, but I want to Embrace My Quirky and no longer live in fear of what others think. It works for me. I feel so much better.

        I think there is nothing wrong with holding some bits back, trust is earned. Especially in any type of relationships.

        Liked by 1 person

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