This is all new to me…..trying to figure out the whole blog thing, discipline to write everyday and keep my priorities in perspective. And we won’t even discuss the whole clean the house, do the laundry, grocery shop, planning meals, volunteer, pay the bills, take care of the animals, clean the litter box, call my friend in the hospital, make blankets for Linus Project…etc things!
I have been accused of climbing mountains. This is probably true to some degree although I don’t think I have ever quite reached the peak to plant my flag and say, “I MADE IT!” very many times. I get bored easily. I climb a little ways up and feel I have seen enough or my path isn’t interesting enough, or I get too far up and start looking down. You know you should NEVER look down! Then I hear the voice gremlins start talking to me and even though I know better….I still have a tendency to listen to them. “What are you doing? Who do you think you are? What makes you think you deserve to climb this mountain? You will never make it to the top, why don’t you just quit now and go back down before you fall on your proverbial face in front of everyone and make a fool of yourself?” Then I come back down to the bottom again and I hear a whole new set of gremlins. “See, I knew you couldn’t do it. You never finish anything you start. You are just like your (fill in the blank) It’s probably best you didn’t go all the way because you would just fall off!” Or my all time favorite, “Well, that was close! Just think of all the people who will hate you if you succeed!” Hmmmm! That is called fear of success. Most of us are acquainted with fear of failure but an even bigger fear can be of succeeding. In my business of helping people lose weight, I saw it all the time. My clients would actually get within just a few pounds of their goal and start doing things to deliberately sabotage their success and never quite reach the place they want to be. They do this on a subconscious level of course because who would do it on purpose. The fear is this: “If I actually get to my goal and then I don’t keep the weight off, I am a failure and everyone will know” Some of us will do this in other walks of life. We will do it with our finances, friendships, marriages and our job. “If I keep myself just below average then I don’t have to worry about falling from the top of the ladder. No one has a perfect marriage…if mine doesn’t work, I will just be like everyone else”. Because if it is too good, then people want you to fail!! They keep an eye out for anything you are doing wrong so they can say, “See I knew it wasn’t as good as they let on” When the truth of all of it is: It can be great!
There are many successful people all over the world who live these “charmed” lives it seems with little effort. I guarantee the reason it seems effortless is because they get up every morning EXPECTING it to be good. That doesn’t mean they don’t fail. It certainly doesn’t make them immune to heartache, death, illness and injury. It is what they do with those times that makes them put one foot in front of the other and choose to live another day even when it seems it can’t get any worse.
The cop-out is: If I don’t try, then I can’t fail. People actually think to themselves that this is ok. But on some level you have already failed whether you realize it or not. Have you ever heard the adage, “It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all”? There are many out there with hearts and spirits in shreds who would vehemently argue with that saying. They would tell you they were better off before they met that person, married that guy, or had those kids! But there are so many more who would tell you their lives are richer, more fulfilled, bigger, better and more complete than they ever would have been had they stayed alone. I promise their hearts and lives were just as destroyed as the ones who would have rather been alone than to feel the pain. Who is better off? Well…if you don’t try to heal from the brokenness how will you ever know? This is true of material things as well. If I don’t get attached to anything then I can’t be disappointed if anything happens to it or it is lost. This can be a somewhat healthier idea than protecting your heart by never giving it away.
The truth is: We can’t take it with us and there is no real happiness in tangible things. It can bring you contentment for a while. And it is easier to cry in a Mercedes-Benz than a 20 year old clunker that is always breaking down (or so they say) but maybe not. What price did you have to pay for the Benz? Did it cost a little bit of your soul? Was THAT worth it then? Maybe not…… Everything has a price!! Everything! Nothing is ever free…EVER! It cost someone something, somewhere! Even if you receive a gift of clothing, someone had to make the material and sew the clothing. It was a cost of time and material for someone.
My point is: what is the cost worth? If you win the lottery but lose your family, was it worth it? If you gain wealth but lose your soul, what do you have? —-I guess this will suffice as the Question of the day…